Lifeink

The life and words of Ashley, Erin, and Michelle

The Guilt Cycle June 5, 2009

Filed under: Writing — michellehuegel @ 12:25 pm
Tags: , , ,

I am feeling so convicted right now I ought to be a pillar of fire. Or was that salt? I’m pretty sure that if I hadn’t started writing RIGHT NOW my fingers would shrivel and fall off in holy retribution.

Let me back up and explain something I’ve only recently (and somewhat unfortunately) discovered about my personality. I share this trait with my genious of a father, a Renaissance man who is skilled in so many areas. He is an “idea man,” a problem-fixer, someone who comes up with brilliant plans, schemes, and solutions. What he needs is a personal secretary (or five) to follow him around and ensure that these schemes actually get completed. For example, I still have a half-completed bedroom in their basement (I moved out over a year ago). He has the personal charisma to motivate people, to help them see his vision. He just isn’t a “finisher,” and neither am I.

Can I blame genetics?? I get so psyched about a project, and I’m great at starting things – and usually I manage to start them well. I have great ideas. But it’s like my energy fizzles after a few days or weeks. Have you guessed what I’m talking about yet?

Yeah, you’re reading it. And it’s a cycle – I don’t feel like writing one time, then I feel guilty, so I avoid thinking about it, and don’t write the next time. Then I feel even more guilty so I avoid even more. Soon my head is spinning in guilty avoidance circles and getting absolutely nothing written. Because if I sit down to write, I first have to come face to face with all that built-up guilt and avoidance. This is why psychologists were invented – to deal with people’s issues so they could get stuff done. Since I can’t afford a psychologist, I’ll just have to work through them myself, and lucky you, you get to come along for the ride.

Join me here every week (or as often as the guilt beats the avoidance) as I simultaneously work through my writing “issues” and try to create something engaging, interesting, and informative for you to read!

Michelle Huegel

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3 Responses to “The Guilt Cycle”

  1. André Says:

    Dear one,

    Dad has started and finished one incredible masterpiece… you! You’re totally right about him being a genius. I admire these qualities you’ve mentioned a lot.

    You don’t need money to pay for a good psychologist. Adriana is getting her master on it and she’ll be glad to listen to of your issues. Her English is much better now too…

    Love ya,

    André

  2. Michelle,
    It’s probably good to work through issues since they don’t go away on their own.
    Blessings on you and your process,
    Ashley

  3. Erin Joy Says:

    I understand how easy it is to avoid. I do the same thing. Hopefully we won’t avoid each other because of that. 😉


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